Thursday, August 25, 2011

Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

Every guy who's been abused, taken advantage of or dumped for some jerk has asked himself this question:
"Do nice guys really finish last?"
That's one worth answering--do we really need to turn into something we're not (cocky, inconsiderate, lying, cheating jerks) if we want to get the girl?
The answer to that question depends on how you define "nice."
I define "nice" as being a decent, considerate man who lives up to his responsibilities and generally makes an effort to treat others well.
But that's not what we're talking about here. Because "nice" as women define it in the context of dating means "weak-willed" and "needy."
And by this definition, nice guys do indeed finish last.
Are you fooling yourself into believing that your needy behavior is actually a virtue? Worse, are you then resentful that this imagined virtue isn't appreciated?
Some self honesty is needed here. I understand how frustrating it is to be rejected or overlooked by women, but the fact of the matter is that if you're so desperate for companionship that you become needy and clingy... the thing that needs to be fixed is your behavior--not everyone else's attitude.
Here's what needy guys do:
1. Act jealous or possessive when they like a woman.
2. Call or text with multiple follow-ups if they don't receive an immediate response to the first one.
3. Put the women they like on a pedestal.
4. Submissively avoid confrontation at all costs.
5. Buy overly extravagant gifts.
6. Try too hard to impress.
7. Display insecurity by constantly seeking affirmation and validation from women they like.
8. Unknowingly harass women with oppressively intrusive behavior.
9. Get too far ahead of themselves emotionally and "fall in love" on the first date.
Notice that none of these things have anything to do with "nice." Nice is just a label that we put on it when our needy behavior get out of control.
It makes us feel good--morally superior, even--to say that women just don't appreciate "nice guys" after we chase them off with weak, emasculated behavior.
And if that's hard medicine to take for you, let me just say this. I've had to take it myself. And yes, it's hard going down, but once you FIX this problem within yourself (and IT IS your problem), then miracles begin to happen.
That's not an exaggeration--this kind of needy behavior is poisonous. Shed it and start being your own man and your attraction level will literally skyrocket over night.
It all starts with being big enough to admit that your behavior is not altruistic. Fess up--you want what MOST guys want--the companionship of good woman.
And you also want what all those bad-boy jerks want. You want sex with attractive women.
Admit it. It doesn't make you a bad guy. You're not a saint, for God's sake. This is the dating world.
And that doesn't mean you have to mistreat women to get what you want--but it DOES mean that you don't have to go out there and make yourself a victim.
Take charge. Take control. Most of all, own up to your behavior and what results from it. This is your life and your responsibility to get the most from it.
Now get out there and make something happen.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Daniel_S_Harper

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